Men Who Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos or College Educations
“Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos” has taken the internet by storm. This conservative Christian’s post has gone viral and is racking up a large amount of backlash in response. Here are a few quotes from the article:
Men don’t want to marry a women with debt. Most of this debt comes from college. They would also prefer a woman who still lives at her parent’s house that has not had other relationships. Do those two things and you will be highly sought after.
If they go to college, they are unlikely to stay home raising their children to pay off the debt and use the degree they spent years on.
The husband will need to take years teaching his wife the correct way to act, think, and live since college taught them every possible way that is wrong.
Now that you have a taste of the author’s position, I’m going to focus on two statements that I found particularly problematic in her post, and I will respond to them on a personal level from my experience as a Christian, a teacher, and a foster parent. In the first statement, Lori Alexander says, “Is college worth having less children? I will never understand how women prefer careers over having precious babies.”
Coincidentally, I met my husband while in college studying Elementary Education at a Christian university. I also minored in Biblical Studies and Ancient Greek during my time there. Those minors that helped me gain understanding about my faith are not something I will ever regret, no matter the price tag. I’m glad my husband also sees the value in that education, recognizing its importance above financial security. Frankly, he wouldn’t be the man I married if he thought twice about marrying me because studying scripture and child development cost money and potentially delayed child-bearing. And while I did accumulate some debt, I eventually received total loan forgiveness for teaching at a Christian school for 5 consecutive years. So yes, college was worth it. Those years prepared me for raising children, more on that later, and honestly, your brain isn’t even fully developed before the age of 25. I’m glad I wasn’t popping out babies before I graduated at 21. I wasn’t as prepared at that time to be as good of a mother as I am now.
Lori insinuates that college is detrimental to our primary mission of being good wives and mothers. She states, “There are many more reasons why Christian young women should carefully consider whether or not they go to college, especially if they want to be wives and mothers someday.” Let’s slow that down and read it again: we should be careful of college… especially if we want to be wives and mothers someday.
I’ve written about how the Bible commands us to take care of widows and orphans. There’s not much to debate about it; it’s pretty clear. When I read those verses of scripture, I decided the way I could help was to become a foster parent, a mother. Yet, we all know that children in the system suffer from trauma, learning disabilities, mental health issues, disorders, behavioral problems, developmental delays, psychological issues, and the list goes on. Being a mother to these children is not easy, but my formal education and classroom experience are invaluable resources. They have made me a better mother.
One of my classes in college was Child Development. I remember learning about the effects of drug and alcohol abuse on the brain. Then one day I saw it in a tiny infant whom I was entrusted to care for through the withdrawals. During my years in the classroom, I learned how to write an IEP and champion for educational accommodations. Later on, I knew what to look for and how to go through the evaluation process when my foster daughter was showing developmental delays. I had students with various special needs, and I learned about interventions for emotionally volatile and autistic children. I learned how to break something down in a simple way that a child could understand, I learned about love and nurture, conflict resolution, documentation, and I worked with foster children before ever accepting my first placement. I’m a Christian wife and mother. I went to college, I had my career, and I don’t regret a thing.
If you want children, it doesn’t mean it has to be right now. Especially for people who desperately desire to become foster parents, no one should shame you into jumping into it immediately. It’s never a good idea to rush into parenting troubled kids before you’re ready. Timing is everything. There is no rush to have your own baseball team of children. You are not more godly because you declined a college education and had kids right away. You are not more godly because you have less debt. You’re not more godly because you don’t have any tattoos. Toss that out the window, and let’s replace it with a new paradigm: the woman who loves God and loves others. That’s it. Do we really need any other qualifiers?
Well said, I have seen the incensed comments on this post and totally understand. The viewpoint is similar to that of the Pharisees sadly.
To the woman that says the quote about men preferring women with no debt is a virgin with no tattoos they are using your face and this is supposedly your email for a earn $1,000 a day website I just figured after Googling your picture and seeing that you are not Elizabeth so that site is completely fake or a scam I should say I figured I would find where I could write to you and let you . I don’t know if I agree with what you are saying on here but that’s not going to stop me from helping you get your face back from this other website so if you just go to Elizabeth@grworldhouse.com you will find exactly what I’m talking about.
….. y’all need help lol having a collage edu. and having tats as a christan does not affect having kids. you can still have a small tat of the cross and it’s fine. You can’t say it’s a sin if it’s glorifying God. You can have a collage education and then get a job to pay those debts before marrying someone. So- y’all need help to open your eyes a bit….. like the virgin part i get ig but…. no
The author of the original post has very extreme views on many things. I definitely do not agree with or support Lori Alexander.
All men still want virgins for serious relationship or marriage. But they cannot admit it due to judgment of modern society. It is their deepest secret. I know alot of men who are very liberal,some of them leftist,are activists,they are pro abortions,for gay marriages,lgbt rights,dont care about old fashion marriages,atheists and still looking for virgins when want serious relationships, but publicly they are stating that virginity is not important to them,that they prefer experienced ones and say all negatives about men who are looking for virgins and on virginity in general,basically they sound like feminists. But those guys are still desperatly looking for virgins,but when they cannot find it,they end up looking for superficial traits and cheat in relationships or just have hookups because they cannot make deep emotional connection to non virgin. But nobody suspects they cheat their partner because they treat their partner well on the outside but suffer inside because they cannot find virgins with who they want to make deep connection.
I don’t think there’s a problem with either gender having preferences. If you want to be with someone who values waiting until marriage, go out and find that person. Just don’t have a double standard about it. The problem with this post is one woman is speaking on behalf of all men to condemn women and reduce Christianity to arbitrary legalism. The Bible says nothing about tattoos or education making you a less suitable spouse, and while it does address purity, sins of the past don’t have to define a Christian’s present walk.
A lot of things in Bible doesn’t say exactly that is wrong ,that doesn’t mean that it isn’t. Bible doesn’t have a collection of all wrong and good things. Walking down the street naked is wrong or not? It’s not mentioned in Bible, so it must be okay? Or good even?
And that is why maybe to some, higher education doesnt make sense. Because some people are brainwashed and cannot think for themselves due to higher education. They put that education on a pedestal as the most important thing in the world and they cannot live without it. If there is no scientific study or science didnt confirmed it, it didnt happen? It isnt true?
Life wisdom is much more important than five doctoral degrees from best universities.
And that is coming from a highly educated that worked in a science.
The problem most of (wo)men have with original article is because it is mentioned dirtiest and despisable modern problem – truth. It has nothing to do with religion or political ideology. Most men, be it left or right,religious or non religious, believers or atheists, they all really prefer what was mentioned in the article. Women cannot understand it, men need to hide it. If you really want man to connect on the deepest level that is. The whole different approach is to have modern consumer relationships – symbiotic connection in which you share costs of living, combat loneliness, sexual needs met and similar primitive needs,hidden with petty talk and romantic cliche and looking behind backsight and over the shoulder. In those modern relationships virginity is laughable.
Most men that dont care or dont prefer what was mentioned in article are the ones that don’t care about women and just want to take advantage of women ,short term or long term. Those guys really look at women as disposable properties.
But women cannot understand it ,especially when they fall for wrong explanations (social) media represent them, like men say they prefer experienced women or that is sign of insecurity,they have small p….,they are afraid of comparison,that is old bad practice of evil patriarch, they want to enslave women or what not. None of this is real reason,but more it has to do with mental images of other people having sex with your partner,something which needs to be most vulnerable and intimate moment shared with others but is relativised as non important,its just sex. It is like infidelity.
Maybe the best explanation on how really men feel when they are forced to have meaningful relationship with women who had sexual partner before is the similar feeling after your partner in committed relationship told you he/she had affair and after first shock and conversation, it sink a bit to you what happened. That feeling. Modern men are forced to go into relationship with women they don’t like or care and they hide it behind a smile.
If you believe in science, then time is just another dimension,same as space. And when you say something is not important because it was in another time,that is the same as you say something is not relevant because it is done in another place.
What i also witness is that happiest relationships are with women that are virgins and not flirty. Their male partner treat them better and they make more effort to make those women happy.