National Foster Care Month

May is National Foster Care Month.  This is a time to shed some light on fostering and to encourage others to get involved.  We’ll touch on all of that this month, but today I want to share a little bit about our day-to-day experience as foster parents.

Fostering has given us a new perspective on permanency, love, and what it means to be family.  Before my feet hit the floor each morning, I awaken to the sounds of a toddler jabbering in her crib.  These children are literally the first thing on my mind, and they monopolize my waking thoughts.

I love them.  I could not love them more if they were flesh and blood, if they were legally and permanently my children.  I watch that spunky little girl twirl around the living room in her princess dress.  Queen blasting for the neighbors to enjoy, her toothy grin flashing at us during each turn, the baby bobbing and shrieking with excitement, and I know.

I know she’s going to give her parents a run for their money when she becomes a teenager.  That’s a certainty.

I know eventually you’ll have to work for that perpetual smile of his.

I know I love them with every fiber of my being.

And I know that’s not enough.

You might know that we’re foster parents.  If you’ve known us a while and have seen the kids start to grow up, you might assume it’s pretty much case closed at this point.  But that’s not the reality of fostering.

You see, it doesn’t matter how long it’s been.  It doesn’t matter if you’ve heard my foster daughter address me as Mama.  It doesn’t matter that we’ve settled into a routine and their status as foster children sometimes slips my mind. It doesn’t matter how much my family adores them.  Our love doesn’t determine the outcome of a case. 

Loving someone completely and knowing it’s temporary is the crux of foster care.  Letting go of all claims to a child and still inviting them into your family is foster care.  Opening your hearts to future hurt in order to provide a safe place for your foster children to dance wildly in your living room- yup, that’s foster care.

It’s not easy.  But then again, nothing worth doing is ever easy.  God rarely gives us comfortable callings, and one of the most important things I’ve learned through fostering is that it doesn’t have to last forever to count.  It may hurt like hell, but I’ll never regret it.  I know that we’ve made a difference.  I know we stepped up when these kids needed us, and I can trust that God’s got the rest.

Foster parents often hear, “You are such a saint.  I could never do that.”  I don’t expect everyone to become a foster parent.  God doesn’t expect that either.  But I will say that all foster parents have felt like they can’t do it.  That doubt overtakes me often.

You can absolutely wonder if you could let the kids go and also be called to foster.  If you feel that prick, I would encourage you to explore that nudge this month.  Maybe, just maybe, God is calling you to step outside comfortable and discover for yourself how worth it these kids are.